200 Days Sober*

Apr 21, 2024, 09:52 PM

Today is 200 days of not smoking weed and I can tell you that the second hundred days flew passed compared to the first hundred.

So what’s changed? Well for starters my health. I can run 6km without breaking a sweat, I’m consistently going to the gym 5 days a week for the past 5 months and I’m sleeping like a baby.

I’m also just generally more consistent, my mood, my inspiration levels, my effort compared to when I was smoking, where I would get intense bursts of enthusiasm followed by massive drop offs just a week later. My wife says that I am less of a “doh-doh head”, she is still getting used to me actually doings things that I said I would do or remembering smaller details. On memory, my ability to recall people’s names is much higher than before. I used to forget someones names by the time they finished introducing themselves. Now I know intentionally go out of my way to greet everyone by their name which really impresses people.

The last week or so I have actually started to miss those intense levels of thought and creativity that comes with smoking. I think it’s the cold change in the air reminds me nights where I would sneak out for a pipe in the cool air and come back in and code till the early hours. Part of me wishes I could get back to that but the other part of my knows that I will just become abusive again.

I’m still going to stick out this year and reconsider next year what I want to do.

You will notice that in the title there is an astericks. This is because some Cocaine found its way into my household last month and I dabbled in that. I started to use it while working at night time as it gives me that intense level of concentration that I used to get from smoking. Cocaine is funny, the first one or two lines are magical and then it’s a sharp decline in effect from there but you still keep going cause it just takes hold of you. Up until that time I was right up on my high-horse about how pure I was without smoking and drinking. I really let myself down doing that Coke and have sworn to stay away from it. I actually think it ruined my dopamine requirements. I’m not sure of the science behind it but I felt that before I had that I was really enjoying a coffee and coding but once my brain got a taste for that stuff it felt like coffee and code was not cutting it anymore and I wouldn’t get that level of satisfaction. So now I’m trying to get back that baseline level again.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this - stay away from Coke, there is nothing positive about it, it’s a pure degenerate drug.