Turning 40

Sep 26, 2025, 09:03 AM

Yesterday was my 40th birthday.

Before I talk about that though let me give a quick update of the past 9 months. I saw my last entry was at the back end of December with me trying to puff myself up with inspirational quotes. They didn’t do the trick, I spent most of this year in and out of destructive spirals with weed/drinking/eating/gaming. There have been patches of disipline but nothing note worthy.

I’ve also started to feel a little lost in my professional life and almost threw in the towel at work the other week, storming into the office to tell my manager I had quit but backed down after speaking with him. All because I’m in a job I don’t like (my own fault), working on pointless products with uninspiring technology. I actually starting to think about getting out of the whole industry and buying some offline business. Not sure if this is me turning 40 at just looking for something different to do in life, or if it is the introduction of AI into my job that gives me a glimpse into the futility of our efforts moving forward as software engineers. I will spend the next few weeks wrestling with this.

In terms of turning 40 - I have to be grateful for what I have, a nice house, a beautiful wife and amazing daughter. But looking back at the last decade there has been so much wasted opportunities by me that if I took them or put in even half as much more effort I would be in a different place. But like the expression goes, no point complaining about the results I didn’t get from the work I didn’t put in.

Also Spring is upon us so I’ve got the seasonal spring in my step (no pun intended). Hopefully I can use this to leap back into action and find the consistency needed to achieve greatness in the next decade. Scary to think the next stop is 50.